Welcome to Friday 411, issue #104. In 4 minutes, with 1 insight and 1 action, you’ll remember how powerful your leadership is.
1 Insight
You will either be a hero or villain to everyone you lead.
Have you ever worked with a leader who made your life worse? We both have. We’ve worked for:
- A sexist bully;
- An insecure, petty tyrant who stole others’ ideas;
- Managers who viewed people as expendable cogs in a machine;
- Workaholics who cared nothing about us personally or professionally.
You’ve probably worked for similar bosses. Think of that person (or people) for a second:
- How did they treat you?
- Did you go home and talk about that person at the dinner table?
- Did the way that person treated you affect the way you felt about yourself?
- Did the way that person treated you affect the way you treated others?
- What did your family and friends think about this person?
The second this leader pops into your mind, you feel strong emotions. You still have scar tissue on your heart from working with that them. Don’t think about this person for too long or you risk anger or depression.
That “leader” was a villain in your life.
Now, think about the opposite. Think about a leader who:
- Cared about you;
- Challenged you to be better;
- Supported your goals and dreams.
These leaders are rarer, but they also leave a lasting impression.
Phil was one of those leaders for me (Garland). We would meet monthly to talk about progress around my biggest priorities. He always asked about my personal life and goals.
For a year, I told him about my goal to earn a doctorate. I jokingly told him, “If I haven’t earned a doctorate by the time I die, I’m going to be deeply disappointed in myself.”
He encouraged me to get clear about what I wanted, to research programs, and to make a plan. I confided in him that the biggest obstacles were finances and time. We were living off a low-paying, nonprofit salary and had three small children. We could barely afford the basics, much less tuition. I also didn’t want to take vacation time away from my family to attend classes.
After several months of conversation, Phil called me to share some news. He had helped launch a new initiative with the nonprofit we worked for. They would pay for half of my tuition and books, as well as provide extra time off for classes.
After I started the doctoral program, Phil wanted to hear what I was learning and how things were going. He had finished a doctorate several years before. He gave me timely advice on how to navigate the challenges of managing being a husband, father of young kids, and full-time employee and student.
Phil enabled me to accomplish a big dream and helped overcome the biggest obstacles that got in the way.
Have you had that kind of boss? Ask the same questions about them:
- How did they treat you?
- Did you go home and talk about that person at the dinner table?
- Did the way that person treated you affect the way you felt about yourself?
- Did the way that person treated you affect the way you treated others?
- What did your family and friends think about this person?
That leader was a hero in your life.
The Only Two Roles a Leader Will Play
Every leader you have ever followed was either a hero or villain in your life.
The same is true for you.
You will either be a hero or a villain to every person you lead.
- You will be discussed at the dinner table.
- You will influence what people think about themselves.
- You will affect how people treat their family, friends, and coworkers.
You can’t control what they think of you. You can’t make them think of you as a hero.
But you can control:
- What you think about them.
- How you speak to them.
- How you treat them.
- How you support them.
- How you encourage them.
When you do those things well, you’ll be a hero to the people you lead.
1 Action
Choose to act like a hero to the people you lead.