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The Secret to Better Communication Isn’t Talking… Or Listening

AdVance Leadership » The Secret to Better Communication Isn’t Talking… Or Listening

Welcome to Friday 411, issue #092. In 4 minutes, with 1 insight and 1 action, you’ll help your team get more traction on your most important messages. 


1 Insight 

The true test of communication isn’t the precision of your words but the action that your team takes based on your words. 


 

Carter communicated a new policy to his team. In order to better manage their growing numbers, he asked them to email him a personal progress report at the end of each month. After the first month, he opened his inbox to find that only two of his eighteen employees had delivered. Carter questioned his leadership. Am I a poor communicator, he wondered. Or is my entire team insubordinate?   

Like Carter, one of the most frustrating situations you’ll experience as a leader is communicating an important message to your team, believing they understood it, only to discover they failed to act upon it. You may have wrestled with the same two questions: Is it my miscommunication or their insubordination?  

Over our years of working with leaders, we’ve found that it’s probably neither of those options. It’s usually something much simpler. 

 

The Challenge of Communication  

You’re Not a Poor Communicator.  

Chances are, if you’ve made it this far in your leadership journey, you’re not a poor communicator. Communication is a complex competence. 

It’s complex because it involves three distinct dimensions: methods (like face-to-face, video, email), types (such as persuasion, coaching, instruction), and relationships (with supervisors, peers, family members).  

Each dimension requires specific development. We once met a leader who was an inspiring speaker who could motivate a team, but his emails were confusing and often came across as demoralizing. He needed to focus his communication growth on effective email composition.  

While you probably excel more in some areas than others, chances are that you’re not a poor communicator 

Your Team Isn’t Insubordinate, Just Overwhelmed 

It’s probably equally untrue that your team is insubordinate. Most employees we’ve met want to do a good work. They don’t have a desire to be obstinate and disagreeable.  

They may, however, be confused. Your team members may be receiving so many messages that they have difficulty understanding them all, discerning which ones are priority messages, and then taking action on them.  

According to recent research, the average business worker 

    • Receives 121 emails per day  
    • Spends 14 minutes on chat  

Additional research found that leaders send an average of 40 emails per day to people 

That’s a lot of communication that your team is responsible to ingest and digest.  

There’s one more challenge that makes communication of important messages difficult — where the power lies.  

 

You Aren’t the One with Power  

If you’re a good communicator and your team has a spirit of willingness, why is it that messages can go unheeded?  

The answer lies in a discovery back in 1938.  

Chester Barnard lived from 1886-1961. He was the president of the New Jersey Bell Telephone Company and considered an influential management theorist in his time. In 1938, he authored The Functions of the Executive 

He showed that most leaders have a wrong assumption. You subconsciously believe that, if you are the one communicating to others, you hold the power. This is an understandable assumption:  

    • You hold the position of power.  
    • You have the power to tell other people to act differently.  
    • You have the power to choose which information people need to hear.  
    • You have the power to hold people accountable to the message you communicate.  

Because you have all of those forms of power, it’s easy to assume that you hold the power when you communicate with others.  

But Chester Barnard taught that the listeners actually hold the power. They choose whether to accept your message and act on it.  

  

Four Conditions for Communication to Be Received  

Barnard wrote that four conditions must simultaneously be met by listeners in order for a message to be accepted and acted upon:  

    1. The receiver must understand the communication as it was intended.  
    2. The receiver must believe the communication is consistent with the purpose of the organization at the time of his decision.  
    3. The receiver must believe the decision is compatible with his or her personal interests at the time of the decision.  
    4. The receiver must believe that he or she is mentally and physically able to comply with it.  

Only when your message meets all four conditions will your team act on the message.  

How to Become a More Powerful Communicator  

If you want your team to take action on your most important messages, it’s not about simply talking or listening more. You need to enable them to meet these four conditions by asking them a few questions:  

    1. What is your understanding of what I just communicated?

Don’t ask, “Did you understand that?” It’s too easy for everyone to say “yes” because they believe they did, in fact, understand it. You won’t know if they understood it unless they can    communicate it back to you.   

      2. How is this message consistent or inconsistent with the purpose of the organization? 

This gives you the ability to ensure that they (1) understand the purpose of the organization and (2) believe that your message is consistent with that purpose. 

      3. How is this message compatible or incompatible with your personal interests? 

This question helps them explain the most important question, WIIFM — What’s in it for me? 

      4. Is there anything stopping you from mentally or physically complying with these instructions? 

This helps reveal if there are obstacles that will get in the way of carrying out the message. 

      5. How can I help and support you? 

This final question gives them the chance to enlist your help.  


1 Action 

The next time you have an important message to deliver to your team, take time afterward to meet with your team members and go through these five questions. 


 

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