Welcome to Friday 411, issue #136. In 4 minutes, with 1 insight and 1 action, you’ll discover two ways to manage emergencies.
1 Insight
Emergencies are inevitable. When they happen, the best leaders slow down, say no for now, and lean into their community.
It’s been a while since you’ve heard from us.
You were probably on the edge of your seat, refreshing your inbox every few minutes, wondering what happened to us. Thanks for your patience.
December brought some unexpected challenges for our family. We faced a family medical emergency that led to a week in the hospital, surgery, and a long recovery. It also meant canceling our family Christmas family trip—one we had planned, talked about, and dreamed about for a full year. (We’re hoping to reschedule it for next Christmas.)
We’re not sharing this so you’ll feel sorry for us.
We’re sharing it because we know emergencies will happen to you, too.
Hopefully not the exact same challenge. We wouldn’t wish that on anyone. But at some point, you will face a disruption—something you didn’t plan for that knocks the wind out of you and forces everything to slow down.
When that happens, it doesn’t just affect your calendar. It affects you.
There’s fear. Not always the loud, obvious kind. Often it’s the quiet kind that shows up at night. Your mind starts running ahead. You think about what this might cost you. How long it might last. What could go wrong if it doesn’t resolve quickly. That fear can exhaust you, even when you’re trying to stay positive and strong.
There’s guilt. You feel like you’re letting people down. You’re not responding fast enough. You’re not delivering at the level you expect from yourself. You start telling yourself stories about what others must be thinking—even when everyone is acting supportive. The weight of those assumed expectations can be heavier than the challenge itself.
There’s frustration. Because the rest of the world doesn’t slow down when you need it to. Everything takes longer. Your energy is lower. You can’t think clearly. Simple tasks feel harder than they should. You’re moving forward, but it feels painfully slow.
That combination—fear, guilt, and frustration—can quietly drain you if you’re not careful.
In the middle of this challenging month, two lessons became very clear—lessons that helped reduce the fear, guilt, and frustration.
1. Learn to say no for now, not forever.
When hard things hit, you have to say no to some things. Not because they don’t matter, but because something else matters more right now.
You have to make space for the emergency.
You’re tempted to keep the same pace and output. You put expectations on yourself to keep up with everything—while quietly carrying a major life challenge. We have bad news: it doesn’t work.
You’re more tired than usual—mentally, emotionally, and physically. And you have less time than usual. Trying to pretend otherwise only leads to burnout and resentment.
For you, this will mean making intentional choices about what to pause. For us, one of those choices was the Friday 411 newsletter. It wasn’t because we didn’t care. It was because we knew holiday email engagement drops anyway. Most people unplug this time of year, and we needed to be extra unplugged. We chose to say no to the newsletter for a short period of time so we could say yes to healing, rest, and family.
2. Lean into your community.
As a leader, it’s easy to believe you have to be strong all the time—that people expect you to be untouched by life. That expectation may feel real, but it usually isn’t.
In the past, we’ve tried to hide challenges so we wouldn’t burden anyone. What we’ve learned is this: when you’re in real community, people want to help.
This time, we let people in. And we were overwhelmed by their kindness.
Friends brought meals and sent encouraging texts.
Our three kids stepped up in big ways to help with daily life.
Clients sent care packages, encouraging notes, flowers, and gift cards.
Our wonderful Strategic Assistant, Brittni, surprised us with a spa box to support rest and recovery.
None of that would have happened if we had pretended everything was fine.
Emergencies remind us of something easy to forget: leadership doesn’t mean doing life alone. You were never meant to carry it all by yourself.
1 Action
If you’re in a hard season right now, pause and ask this simple question: What do I need to say “no” to—for now—so I can make space for what matters most?