Book Update
Later this year, we will release Unleashed Leadership, the first of an 8-book series. We’re looking for five more volunteers from our newsletter readership to be part of a review team—to read the manuscript before it is published and provide feedback. If you’re interested, please email Garland at garland@advanceleadership.live.
Welcome to Friday 411, issue #117. In 4 minutes, with 1 insight and 1 action, you’ll gain one crucial relationship that will accelerate your leadership growth.
1 Insight
The right mentor will shorten your learning curve, sharpen your thinking, and advance your leadership.
Most leaders wait too long to get help.
They read books, attend trainings, and keep pushing harder.
But the fastest way to grow isn’t by trying harder—it’s by learning from someone who’s already been there.
That’s why you need a mentor. A mentor:
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- Guides you down unfamiliar paths.
- Introduces you to fresh ways of thinking.
- Recommends reliable tools and methods.
- Demonstrates proven solutions.
Why Mentors Matter
According to a study from Sun Microsystems, mentors get promoted six times more often and mentees five times more often than those not in a mentoring program.
If you want to strengthen your leadership skills, acquiring a mentor is essential. Look for people who are already in your life and a few steps ahead of you in their journey. You may know them through your workplace, from a community you’re a part of, or even your place of worship (like the golf course. 😄) They’ve gained experience and wisdom through years of real-world leadership, and they’re willing to invest in you—not because they’re paid to—but because they believe in your potential and want to see you grow.
The key to finding a mentor is inviting the right person to help you grow in the right way.
If you’re a leader who wants to grow fast—and wisely—here’s a simple three-step process of finding a mentor and learning from them right away.
Step 1: Start With Where You Need to Grow
Before you ask someone to mentor you, ask yourself one big question:
Where do I need to grow?
The Unleashed Leadership framework points to seven areas where most leaders get stuck:
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- Character
- Competence
- Capacity
- Clarity
- Community
- Culture
- Consistency
Knowing which of those is holding you back will help you find someone who models what you need.
Want to grow in Competence? Find someone who gets results without wearing themselves or their team out.
Want to grow in Consistency? Find someone who shows up the same way no matter the pressure.
The clearer you are about your growth goal, the easier it is to spot someone who’s living it out.
Step 2: Identify a Potential Mentor
A mentor doesn’t need to be famous, brilliant, or flawless. They just need to be ahead of you in the one area you want to grow.
If you want to build Capacity, maybe it’s someone who manages their calendar like a ninja. If you want more Clarity, look for someone whose leadership has produced a laser-focused team.
Think small. Think local. Think practical.
I (Garland) once asked a guy to mentor me on delegation. He wasn’t great at work-life balance, so I didn’t seek his insight on that area of his life. When it came to how he ran meetings and used a task management system to mobilize his team, he was a genius. That was the part I needed.
Remember: you don’t need a guru. You just need someone with a strength you need worth learning from.
Step 3: Invite the Person to Be Your Short-term Mentor
This is where most people get stuck.
They think they need to find a lifelong mentor who becomes their personal Yoda.
Nope.
Start with a small ask—something like three 30-minute meetings over the next three months.
Here’s what that does:
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- It diminishes the pressure on the mentor.
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- It gives you both a clear ending point.
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- It makes it easier to evaluate the fit.
Before you reach out, answer these five quick questions:
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- What’s the growth goal?
- Why is this person a good fit?
- What kind of impact will this growth have?
- What amount and duration of time are you asking them to commit to?
- How will you make it easy for them to say yes?
Then send a simple, thoughtful message that makes it clear you’ve done your homework and you’re ready to learn.
Example:
Hi [Name], I’m trying to grow in [trait] and I’ve noticed you’re excellent in that area. I saw it in action when you [specific moment]. I’d love to learn from you. Would you be open to meeting 3 times for 30 minutes over the next three months? I’ll send questions ahead of time to make the most of it. Would Thursday at 8 am at [location] work for our first meeting?
Clarity and thoughtfulness make it easy for mentors to say yes.
There’s one more essential guideline in procuring a mentor—one that will set you apart because many neglect to follow it: Take no more than what you asked of them.
I (Dorothy) remember seeing a conversation between Oprah Winfrey and esteemed author, Maya Angelou in 2013. When Oprah was a young reporter, she asked Dr. Angelou for an interview and was turned down. When Oprah countered with a promise that she would take no more than five minutes, Dr. Angelou agreed. At exactly five minutes, Oprah stood up and thanked her. Shocked, Dr. Angelou leaned in, “Who are you, Girl?”
Yes, Oprah asked insightful questions. But Dr. Angelou was not used to people having the integrity to take only the time she agreed to. From that initial meeting, she became a mentor and lifelong friend to Oprah.
A Mentor Won’t Chase You—So Take the Lead
One of the biggest mistakes mentees make is sitting back and waiting for the mentor to bestow wisdom upon them.
That’s not how it works in mentoring relationships.
You — the mentee — must drive the relationship.
That means knowing how you want to grow, showing up prepared with good questions, following through after meetings, and being the one who sets the tone and pace.
1 Action
This week, work through these three steps and find someone who could mentor you in one growth goal.