Welcome to Friday 411, issue #118. In 4 minutes, with 1 insight and 1 action, you’ll experience the power of one crucial decision.
1 Insight
Feeling like a fraud doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’ve hit the edge of your current abilities, and it’s time to decide how to grow next.
A few months ago, we surveyed our readers and asked you to share your biggest leadership struggles. The feedback that we got from many of you is that even though you are in a leadership position, you don’t feel cut out for leadership. This perception creates a sense of cognitive dissonance. One of the most common phrases shared was:
“I am a fraud.”
Over the years, we’ve heard many iterations of that statement:
- “I don’t feel like a leader.”
- “I should be farther along than I am.”
- “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
- “Any minute now, someone’s going to figure out that I don’t belong here.”
- “I keep trying harder, but I’m not progressing.”
- “I second-guess every decision I make.”
- “I’m not ready for this.”
- “I am a bad leader.”
Whether you’re new to a leadership role or been in one for years, these thoughts can set up a throne in your head and rule there. It’s the silent struggle of leadership.
Here is your much-needed reminder:
Just because you tell yourself something doesn’t make it true.
The presence of this berating dictator in your head actually means something else:
You care.
You want to lead people well.
You’re not willing to fake it.
That’s not fraud. That’s honesty. And it’s the best possible starting place for getting unleashed.
Just ask Larry.
Larry’s Story: “I Am a Bad Leader.”
Larry was a high performer. The kind of person everyone leaned on.
Over the years, he received one promotion after the other because of his “everything is figure-outable” mindset. He worked hard, cared deeply, and helped others. People loved being on his team.
When he was promoted to senior manager at a company with over 20,000 employees, it felt like the right move. A reward for years of excellence.
But from day one, the weight of the role pressed down on him.
Every day, Larry received hundreds of emails. He faced nonstop meetings. His new boss gave him twenty different “top priorities” with no clear direction on which ones mattered most. A key employee quit and gave him a bad review in her exit interview. Larry’s family barely saw him.
He kept showing up, trying harder, doing more, pushing through. But Larry was unraveling.
One night at 1:27 a.m., he couldn’t sleep. He sat alone in his home office and whispered words he’d never said out loud before:
“I am a bad leader.”
He felt like a fraud — maybe the people who trusted him were wrong about him.
Larry could have gotten stuck in that feeling of being a bad leader. Fortunately, as he continued to roll these pernicious thoughts around in his head, something shifted.
“Maybe I am not a bad leader,” he said again. “I’m just stuck. I feel…”
The word escaped him. Held back? Choked?
He put his hand to his throat, feeling an invisible tightening. And then it came to him:
“I feel leashed.”
That one word gave him a new way forward.
You’re Not a Fraud. You’re Just Leashed.
That feeling you have—the fear, the hesitation, the doubt—it doesn’t mean you’re an imposter.
It means you’re feeling the leash. A leadership leash happens whenever you experience a disparity between your responsibilities and abilities. In Larry’s case, his current responsibilities exceeded his abilities.
The first step to change isn’t more training or hustle.
It’s a decision.
The Power of One Decision
Before you build a plan…
Before you develop new skills…
Before you try to fix anything…
You have to decide: “I am not going to stay leashed.”
It’s a small sentence. But it shifts your entire posture.
As Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”
That’s what happened for Larry.
The moment he decided he was a leashed leader—not a bad leader, he began the slow, steady work of getting unleashed. That decision changed everything. His team got stronger. His calendar became manageable. His company took notice.
Launching the Unleashed Leadership Series
In a few months, we’ll release the first book of an 8-part series, Unleashed Leadership. This book is full of ridiculously practical steps and real stories from leaders like Larry. (And it will be around 120 pages — short enough to read on a single flight.)
Unleashed Leadership will introduce you to a three-stage process for getting unleashed:
- Stage 1: Decide – to get unleashed
- Stage 2: Discern – what’s holding you back and how to move forward
- Stage 3: Deliver – the actions to get unleashed
You don’t need to hit rock bottom to make a change like Larry’s.
But you do need to make a decision: Will you get unleashed?
1 Action
Say this out loud today—even if it’s just a whisper:
“I’m not a fraud. I’m a leader who feels leashed. And today, I’m deciding to get unleashed.”
That one decision can change everything.