Welcome to Friday 411, issue #151. In 4 minutes, with 1 insight and 1 action, you’ll learn the two words that kept me going when I wanted to quit.
1 Insight
Feeling stuck in the grind doesn’t mean you’ve stalled. It means you’re in the middle of becoming.
In the summer of 2011, doctors diagnosed my (Garland’s) young, vibrant mom with cancer. They gave her months to live. Said she’d be lucky if she made it a year.
My mom was a larger-than-life personality. She never met a moment undeserving of a good story. As a fourth grade teacher, she had no fancy title or corner office. But at her funeral, dozens of former students showed up and said the same thing: “She was the best teacher I ever had. She changed my life.”
When someone you love gets a terminal diagnosis, time shrinks. Every conversation, every visit, every moment gets heavier. You want to squeeze everything you can out of whatever time is left.
The year before her diagnosis, I had started working on my doctorate in leadership. I was working full-time, raising three young kids, and running on fumes most days. I had five years left in my program. I thought about postponing my studies but didn’t think that I would go back if I stopped.
That Christmas, I opened a gift from my mom. Inside was a small name plaque that read: Dr. Garland Vance, D.Min.
I felt both touched and confused. I said, “Mom, I haven’t earned my doctorate yet. I’ve got five more years.”
She smiled and said, “Turn it around.”
On the back, in small engraving: Finish well. Love, Mom.
Obviously, I started bawling. In that moment, my mom proclaimed who I was before I became that person.
Two Sides of the Same Plaque
I took that plaque back to my office and made a vow. I wouldn’t show the “doctor” side until I officially graduated. I placed it on my desk with those two words facing me: Finish well.
It reminded me every day of the work I needed to do to achieve the results I wanted to get.
That plaque had two sides. You do, too. So does every leader.
One side, the “doctor” side, is the leader you want to become. The leader your team raves about at the dinner table. The one who gets results and cares about people. The one who gets recognized for all you do.
The other side is the leader who you are today. It’s the leader who wants to avoid the difficult conversation. The one still figuring out how to lead the room. The one who struggles to keep your team focused.
The gap between those two sides? That’s the leadership leash. That’s the tension every growing leader feels.
The Gift I Didn’t Ask For
In my office where I kept the plaque, we had the sweetest cleaning lady, Merle. She stood five feet tall if she was wearing platforms. Any time I was in the office, we’d have a big conversation about my kids and her grandkids. When I was there, Merle brought palpable kindness.
But if Merle cleaned my office when I wasn’t there, she brought something else. She would always dust off that plaque and turn it around. Every single time. She’d flip it to the Dr. Garland Vance, D.Min. side.
At first, I got frustrated. She didn’t know the vow that I had made, but she was making me break it.
Week after week, she kept doing it.
Then one day, it hit me.
Merle was giving me the same gift my mom gave me.
It was easy to get stuck in the mire of the finish well side. Every morning, I was confronted with the grind, the reading, the papers, the nonstop work. Most days, that’s all I could see. But Merle kept reminding me of who I was becoming.
When she flipped the plaque, she turned me back toward the vision. She reminded me that the “not there yet” part of my story is not the end. It’s the middle.
Every page I read, every paragraph I wrote, every new idea I wrestled with got me one step closer to “Dr. Garland Vance, D.Min.”
That’s what every leader needs. Because every leader, at multiple points in the journey, feels this tension. You see the leader you want to be. But you also know you’re not there yet. The gap between those two versions of you can feel discouraging. It can make you want to stop running altogether.
Don’t stop! Keep unleashing your leadership. You’re closer than you think.
The leadership leash doesn’t snap all at once. It stretches a little more every time you choose to keep going. Every time you have the hard conversation. Every time you show up for your team when you don’t feel like it. Every time you choose the finish well side over the I can’t do this side.
So keep going. The grind side of that plaque is where the work happens. But the other side is where the leader your team deserves is waiting.
Finish well, my friends. Finish well.
1 Action
Write down the kind of leader you want to become. Not your title. Not your role. The kind of leader. Put it somewhere you’ll see it every day this week. Let it remind you that who you’re becoming matters more than where you are right now.